forever

Distance and difference

again, long time no see
this red
these roses

I actually wanted to post a entry for a long time,
but well :"D motivation

I wonder
I always wonder a lotta things
Shall all people get close just to people that are similar to them?
because they share the same view same thought?
It seems yes

But if that is true, how pathetic it is
We always talk abt fairness
but in many ways
we are actually leveling ourselves, to different gradings
There is no fairness in the world
Just like it is difficult to accept people that are too different from ourselves coz he/she is not from the same level
But maybe when you look up, you couldn't stop feeling a flash of jealousy?
when you look down, you couldn't stop growing pride?
maybe it is too demanding to fuse two different worlds together?

I think,
The difference between everyone is inevitable
but, it is where the meaning of love lies
as long as you still hold your values, there is nothing to be jealous
coz everyone is unique and born to achieve different things

Frankly, in many aspect I'm quite a theorist
and that's the reason why I fail

Am I a hater? well maybe yes,
because I'm a liker and a perfectionist (towards beauty)

I hate people approaching with intention
When your intention can be so easily seen
everything becomes so ridiculous and animal
Is there any pure heart left?

Somehow I dislike man very much  
i dunno why is that
when the environment is full of man and yellow jokes 
it doesn't mean anything,
nothing more than full of rubbish
nothing to cling on , afraid of mistake therefore abandon to do, lack of confidence end up floating on the sort of team spirit
real man shouldn't be that

if sociality is just like that and no more than that,
then is there any pain for me to keep inert until i'm forced to do so?

I see one gold within the rubbish
but everything has its own way
and I know it isn't for me.
no matter how beautiful it has became
 I still love to see 

Sorry to dad,
if there's transmigration
if there's no destiny
I could be a handsome and responsible son haha 
and we might get closer
get more linkage 
maybe a better family

and so,
the New Moon is coming
time to reserve energy

如果大學是SOCIETY的縮影
那麼我開始明白
有時也會有盲目地做著不同自己不完全認同的事的時候,
這樣做, 等待的是自己認同的東西的出現
等待衝擊, 平台
或換取另一些機會

但那局外人的感覺還真強烈
究竟是黑, 白不接受我,
還是我自己選擇站在灰色地帶
要改變那只有一個人建立的自我, 還是依舊在一旁觀賞
我也不知道

這一刻我只明白要生活平衡一點, 就要學識相信自己和分身
最想的是GPA過3轉科

如果是那時的自己看到這篇東西, 不知有什麼感想

痛到痴線

每次都會不禁痛到想: 這樣痛下去會不會死?

痛到痴線

我睡了一天